Doctor’s House

Well, I had to go see the doctor the other day.  It was fun at first but then it got kind of humiliating.  The doctor lady is really nice and she keeps calling me, “Handsome.”  I really like that ‘cuz I happen to be extraordinary.

Hemingway, quit begging for compliments and get on with the story.  I don’t want to wait all day to use the computer.

Shakespeare, sometimes you really get on my nerves.  For a little brother you can really be a pest at times!  When Mom and I got to the doctor’s house, she carried me in and I did do quite a bit of squirming ‘cuz I wanted to get down and walk.  Man, it looks so “uncool” if your Mom carries you in to the doctor’s house!!!  Well, Mom wouldn’t let me get down so I decided I might as well behave.  I sat and looked at the dogs on the other side of the room.  They were barking and making lots of noise.  I thought they were stupid.  Then another cat came in and he started making all sorts of strange noises.  His Mom made him look like a dork ‘cuz he was in this little house-like thing that she carried.  I think he was really embarrassed to be seen in public like that.

Finally we got to go into another room and then Mom put me down on the floor.  I was a little confused and scared so I found a corner where I could try to hide.  It didn’t work ‘cuz the doctor lady’s helper found me.  Mom picked me up and put me on this cold metal thing that was kind of slippery.  Then the “helper” started feeling me and listening to my heart and stuff.  I could have told her that my heart was beating just fine but she had to hear for herself.  The worst part was when she stuck this long thing into a hidden part under my tail.  She had no business going there!  I put up with that humiliation forever and she finally took it out.  I thought I was in the clear until Dear Old Mom asked the helper if she was going to weigh me.  Man, I almost got away with it!!!  What was Mom thinking?  I’m going to tell Mom’s doctor to make sure and weigh her and then she won’t feel so good. 

So, all of this and what did Mom find out?  Well, when the doctor lady came in the room she told me that I was so handsome and that I was really healthy.  She said that she thought I was so good and then she gave me some shots!!!  Mom was holding me so I couldn’t run, but the shots didn’t really hurt that much.  The last shot is what really scared me.  The doctor lady explained that there wasn’t a needle but that it shot the medicine with a strong burst of air so there was going to be a loud pop.  I didn’t realize how loud that pop was going to be and it’s a good thing Mom was holding me ‘cuz I was ready to tear out of there!!!!  The doctor lady told Mom that I shouldn’t gain any more weight.  I found out that I weigh 17.7 pounds……….but I’m a BIG cat!!!  I have a long body so there’s lots of room for food.  I’m afraid Mom is going to start cutting out my treats and that’s not a good thing.  Maybe when Mom lets me go outside I can start running around in the back yard and lose some weight.  Of course that means I have to wait until summer and according to Mom we’re not going to have summer this year!

Hemingway……….are you about done?  You’ve been at that computer forever!  I’m too tired to do anything now so I’m going to go take a nap.  Please keep the noise down so I can sleep.

Hey………that nap thing sounds pretty good.  I think I’ve talked enough for now so I’m going to go join Shakespeare in a nap.  Besides, I need plenty of energy tonight so I can keep Mom awake.  She tells everyone she doesn’t like it when I do that, but I think she really does!