Now you did it, Hemingway!

It wasn’t just me.

Mom didn’t look very happy when she saw we were in the driveway on the other side of the gate.

I know.  I wanted to play “catch me if you can” with her, but I had the feeling she would really get mad, so I “let” her pick me up after a very short game.

You shouldn’t have played the game at all.

I know.  Mom told us that we shouldn’t go on the other side of the gate ‘cuz it’s dangerous.  I think we had her pretty worried when she saw us out there.

I wonder if she’ll ever let us go out again?

I know she was excited to see about thirty minutes of sunshine today and she wanted to share it with us.  Even Champ’s mom came over to talk to us.

I feel bad that we got her worried.

Me too.

But did you notice that she brought in some fresh catnip for us?  I think she felt bad that she got so upset with us.

Getting upset just isn’t a good thing, I guess………..unless you follow it up with some catnip!

Mom, are the humans as confused as we are about the weather?

Yeah…we’ve both lived over one year so we know there are supposed to be four seasons….at least that’s what  you humans call them.

Last year we remember there were quite a few days where that really bright light was shining outside and it was very warm.  You humans call that summer.

Was summer only one day long this year?  We had that one day when the bright light was shining and you said it got up to 103 and that was too hot for us to go outside.

Now all we see out there is gray and rain and you tell us it’s too cold to go outside.

We’re confused!

Mom says I should go to football camp.

What’s that?

I don’t know, but it sounds fun.  I do know that football is a game that mostly the male humans play.  I have no idea what camp is and why I should go.

You must have done something!

Well, I think it all started yesterday.

You were bad!!!

I don’t think I was that bad.  It’s just that I really really wanted to go outside so every time Uncle Bob opened the door, I was right there sort of under his feet.

According to him there was nothing “sort of” about it.  You were in the way!

Maybe……….anyway, one time the door stayed open just a bit too long so I managed to get outside.

Uncle Bob was mad!

I know, so I figured I should stay out there until he got over being mad.  I was lucky ‘cuz after a bit, Mom came home and was she ever surprised to see me outside!  I let her pick me up and bring me back inside, but Uncle Bob was still mad.

Well, maybe things would have calmed down but then you managed to get outside again one time when Mom opened the door.

That was my really tricky move.  She saw me heading for the door so she kind of moved, but I very quickly changed directions so she would think I had given up and then when she wasn’t looking, I changed directions again and headed out the door.

So where does the football fit in all this?

Mom said that I was excellent at doing tricky football moves and maybe I should play for the Vikings and help them win more.

What are the Vikings?  Are they cats or dogs?

Remember I told you that mostly male humans like to play football?

Yes…but it’s hard for me to concentrate ‘cuz I’m hungry.

As usual…anyway,  that’s the name of a football team from Minnesota….the Vikings.

Oh, going to camp sounds stupid to me………unless they have bread.

Shakespeare, you have a one-track mind.

I can’t help it!  Isn’t it almost time for dinner?

Hemingway, do you remember your father?

No.  I’m not sure I ever met him.

Same here.

I wonder what our fathers were like.  I wonder if my father was big like me and I wonder if your father had a gigantic fluffy tail like you.

Will we ever be fathers?

I don’t think so.  Mom said when she got us from the Humane Society, we were already “fixed”.

Were we broken?

That’s what I thought when she and the doctor lady were talking about it the first time I met the doctor lady.  I asked Mom and she tried to explain it to me, but I guess what it means is that we can’t make baby kitties.

Can you imagine how rambunctious it would be around here with a bunch of little kittens running around?

We would never get any sleep.

Well, I guess it’s ok that we won’t get to be dads, but at least we can send special wishes out to all the other dads out there.

Dads………enjoy your special day!

And if you have a kitty who is a daddy, make sure you put out extra treats.

Mom, if you’re reading this, it’s ok for you to put out special treats for us even if we aren’t dads.

Good thinking, Hemingway!

Let’s talk about food.

Shakespeare, if you had your way, that’s all we would ever talk about.

Well, I happen to know that you like food, too.  Besides, you weigh more than I do.

What does that have to do with the subject of food?  You just want to pick on me like any little pesty brother would.

I am not pesty!  Hey…..that’s kind of close to pesto.  I know humans eat that ‘cuz I’ve seen them making it on some of the food shows Mom watches.

Shakespeare!  Why do you want to talk about food?

Well, I’m kind of wondering why it takes only a couple of seconds for Mom to get our food ready but when she’s fixing her food it takes a really long time.  Sometimes she even has to put it in that big black box that gets really hot.

That’s called an oven.  Mom told me once when I started to get a little too close to it.  It can be very hot and we are supposed to stay away.

Fine……but why doesn’t Mom put our food in there?  Why does she just dish it out from that special container?

I don’t know.

Why doesn’t she cut up things and add lots of stuff to our food?

Maybe it’s because it takes so much time to get her human food ready that she doesn’t have any time left to do that for our food.

Why can’t we eat human food?  I like bread.  Mom could feed me bread and I would be very happy.

I know but Mom said we don’t get the right vimerals or mitamins or something like that.  I wasn’t listening real good so I didn’t understand what she was saying.

I guess I’ll just be happy with the food she gives us ‘cuz it’s good and it’s making me grow up to be a healthy cat.

At last, you’re finally going to stop yakking.

I wonder why there are so many different colors of flowers.

It’s probably so everyone can have a favorite color.  With humans, not everyone likes the same thing so the more colors there are, the more they have to choose from.

I can’t decide which color I like best.

Mom has some pretty pink ones that I like.

Why doesn’t Mom bring flowers in the house?

Well, it’s partially my fault.  I just always want to get a closer look at them so I sort of accidentally pull them out of their containers and then water sometimes falls all over the place.

Why can’t you leave them alone?

I’m a cat.  I’m curious!

I suppose Mom figures if she tries to bring in flowers again you’ll teach me how to pull them out and get water all over the place.

I’m sure Mom knows that you can figure that out all on your own.

I sure do like all the pretty colors.  Is it almost time for Mom to come home?  I’m ready for some treats.  All this thinking has made me hungry.

Good grief.  Just look outside.  It’s nice and sunny and there are birds and bugs flying around.

There’s also fresh grass to chew.

Here we are on the inside. 

I’ve been trying to sit in the window as much as I can but Mom always shuts her bedroom door so that takes two windows out of my sitting possibilities.

I hate that little light on the thing with the numbers by Mom’s bed.  It was on again this morning so it made that awful noise and Mom finally got up and greeted us.

Yes, but then she left.  Now she’s gone for the whole day!  She will come home and she’ll be tired and she won’t want to let us go outside to play.

Mondays are really awful.  I can see why humans don’t like them.

If cats ruled the world there wouldn’t be Mondays!!!!

Yes, and weekends would be longer!!!

Mom…….we’re so glad you had a birthday today ‘cuz you let us go outside and play with you.

We had so much fun!

We chased bugs….

We chewed on grass…..

We listened to birds……

We rolled in dirt…..

We said hi to Champ….

We had a wonderful day.   We’re even willing to forget about the fact that you locked us both out of your room last night!  I guess we could at least let you have one good night’s sleep.  After all, you’re much older now.