When will we be grown up?

I don’t know.  I’ll be two in December.  Maybe that’s grown-up.  Why are you asking about that?

Well, sometimes I hear humans talking about what they want to be when they grow up.

So?

Well, won’t they still be humans?  I mean when I grow up I’m still a cat.

That’s not what they are talking about.  Humans usually get jobs and start earning money when they grow up.  Often that means they have to go to school longer to learn more things about their specific job.

Like the doctor lady?

Yes.

I think you should be a symphony conductor.

Why?

I’ve heard they wear “tails” and they are usually dressed in black and white.  You’re all set for that.  Besides, you like music.

Your tail is bigger.  Maybe you should be a conductor.

But my tail isn’t black and I like it the way it is.  I think I’ll be a chef ‘cuz I like food so much.

Well I’m glad we got that figured out.  How come it sometimes takes humans so long to decide what they want to be when they grow up?

Maybe they just don’t want to grow up.  Have you seen my catnip toy?

Mom’s home so we got to go outside and play!

We had so much fun tonight and we wanted to share it with you.

Yawn………….these are the “cat days of summer”.

What do you mean by that?

It’s hot and I’m lazy.

You’re lazy even when it’s not hot!

I’m going to tell Mom that you can’t say anything nice and then she won’t let you have any catnip.

Sorry.  I guess I just get a little cranky when it’s so hot and humid.

So does Mom!!!

But what made you come up with the “cat days of summer”?  Where did you hear it?

Actually, I think humans call it “dog days of summer” but that just didn’t seem right.  Why should dogs get top billing?  Anyway, when you were sleeping I looked up some information on the internet.  Many, many, many human years ago, people could see more stars in the night sky and they noticed that Sirius, the “dog star”, was the brightest and in ancient times they thought the heat from that star transferred to the sun because during the summer Sirius rises and sets with the sun.

Way too much information for my little brain!

I guess I got carried away with my research.  I still like to call them the “cat days of summer” ‘cuz humans could think of fluffy kitties lying upside down, all stretched out, purring contentedly.  Do dogs purr?  No, they bark.  So if you call them the “dog days of summer” you think of a drooling dog barking and shedding. 

Humans………Hemingway and I want to start a campaign to call them the “cat days of summer” and suggest that humans just lie in hammocks, drinking cold water with some catnip leaves, humming (since you humans don’t purr), and just relaxing during the heat and humidity.

And no barking!

What does that mean?

Thank Goodness It’s Food!

Oh it does not!  You’re just trying to get me all excited and it’s not going to work.  There’s still some food in the dish so I know it’s not time for treats.   Besides, Mom is at work.

Well, I just wanted to see if you were listening.  You’ve been kind of sleepy lately.

I  think all this hot weather did me in.  The fans that Uncle Bob set up helped and of course going down into the basement felt pretty good, but I really wanted to go outside and everyone kept telling me it was too hot.

Maybe if I search on the internet I can find out why it had to get so hot and humid this week.  I don’t remember last summer being this bad.  You were still pretty little so I know you didn’t notice.

Maybe everyone turned on their ovens and opened the doors and that’s what made it so hot.

That might be the answer!

Ok humans…………turn off your ovens.  We’re too hot!!!

Don’t you wish you had my fur?

Not at all.  You have way too much fur.

But at least my fur isn’t black.  I have nice light-colored fur and even though there’s lots of it, I don’t get that uncomfortable.  Aren’t you hot?

Hotter than an erupting volcano.  I don’t know what to do.  When Mom gets hot she wears shorts and t-shirts. 

You don’t want to start wearing clothes, do you???

No.  You always interrupt me.  It’s just that Mom can put on fewer clothes and that helps her stay a little cooler.  I would need to remove this heavy black fur coat that I have on and I don’t think that’s possible.

I bet if you went to the Doctor Lady’s House they would shave off that heavy fur coat for you.  I’ll call and make an appointment.

You are no help at all.  You just want me to look ridiculous.  All I want is to get a little cooler.

Let’s go down in the basement and take a nap.

Just stay away from that phone!

I really don’t understand humans.

Neither do I.

Sometimes they make no sense at all when they’re talking.

I know……but what brought this on?

Mom said we have ants in our pants.

What?  You must have heard wrong.

Nope.  That’s what she said.  In the first place neither of us wear pants.

I wouldn’t even want to wear pants.  They would cover up my pretty fur.

Well, even if we did wear pants, why on earth would we want to put ants in them?  Aren’t ants those little bugs we chase around outside?

Yes.  I like to pounce on them but then they stop moving.

That’s because your big feet squash them!

I still don’t know why Mom thinks we would put ants in our pants.  Maybe later I can look it up on the internet.

It must be another one of those Mom things.

Let’s go find some toys to play with.  If anyone out there knows why Mom thinks we should wear pants and why we should put ants in them, please let us know!

I looked at the thing on the wall with all the numbers and Mom has written on there again that she’s going to be gone.

First of all, humans call that a calendar.

I don’t care what they call it.  Is Mom really going away this time or is it another trick?

I think it’s real this time.  I’ve heard her talking about going to take care of two dogs.

Why doesn’t she take care of cats?

We aren’t as needy.

Well, I’m not happy that she’s leaving.

Neither am I.  We can’t seem to convince Uncle Bob to give us as many treats as Mom does.

She’s not leaving for a couple of days so maybe we can convince her to stay home.

I’m sure we’re much cuter than the dogs!

Hemingway, do you let Mom cut your nails?

Yes, why?

Doesn’t it hurt?

No.  Besides, it gives me some special time with Mom.

She told me my nails have to be cut and I don’t like that.  You know I don’t want anyone holding me or trying to make me stay still.

Well, if you don’t let Mom do it, then she will have to take you to the Doctor Lady’s House so someone else can cut them.

I don’t want to go there.  I like the Doctor Lady but I don’t like her house.  It’s scary and it has funny smells and strange noises.  Don’t these feet look pretty as they are?

You aren’t showing your nails in that picture!  Besides, my feet are prettier than yours are.  See……

You look like you’re wearing big white fluffy slippers.

Mom’s taking Ebony to the Doctor Lady’s House tonight so she can get her nails cut.  Maybe you should go along.

No way!!!!  I’m going to chew my nails!

I don’t think Mom wants you to do that.

Was there a big army of those “lightning bugs” circling the house and pounding on drums last night?

No.

Was it the Fourth of July again?

No…….and why are you asking such stupid questions?

I’m just trying to learn!  There was lots of loud noise and the sky kept lighting up with bright lights.  It woke me up!

Oh, that was what humans call a thunder-storm.  You’ve seen them before.  The loud noise is called thunder and it happens after there is a bright flash of light, which is called lightning.  Then most of the time there’s lots of rain, like last night.

I think I was confused ‘cuz I had been sleeping so hard.  I think I know how to tell when it’s not the Fourth of July and there’s loud noise and bright lights.

How?

It’s only on the Fourth of July that those bright lights are all different pretty colors.

Good thinking, but you have to remember that those pretty colored bright lights are made by firecrackers and sometimes humans light those off for other reasons.  Are you going to think it’s the Fourth of July every time someone sets one off.

Probably.  I’m a cat and I can think what I want!

Why is Mom still here?

That’s what I wanted to know.  She got out that big bag and told us she was going to go stay with that dog but she’s still here.

Was she playing a trick on us to see how we would behave?

Could be.  I know that’s definitely a Mom thing.  She did finally explain to me that she didn’t need to go stay with the dog after all so she could stay home with us.

Good thing we weren’t too naughty this time.

I’m never naughty.  I was really concerned about Mom last night.

Excuse me!  I just had to roll over on the floor and laugh ‘cuz you said you’re never naughty!

Hush and let me tell you about last night.  Mom let Ebony outside and then she went out with her to make sure she didn’t start barking.

Nothing keeps Ebony from barking!

I know.  Anyway, I think Mom wanted to sit outside for a bit and relax in the dark.

That’s no fun.  You can’t see all the flying things and creeping things around you so you don’t have anything to chase.

Stop talking and listen.  Mom was out there for a little while and then I heard her saying, “Cool!”  She said it several times as she walked around on the deck.  At first I thought she was excited about finding some cool air, but then she kept saying it even when she came in the house.

What was going on?

I asked Mom about it and she said she saw some “lightning bugs” out in the back yard.

What are those?

I guess they’re just bugs that light up in the night-time.  It’s like they have their own headlights so they can see where they’re going.  Mom said she hasn’t seen any around the yard for years so she was super excited.

Do you think she’ll let us go outside tonight and watch for them?

You know Mom doesn’t let us out when it’s dark.

Ok.  Is it time for treats yet?