Dirt

I’ve been thinking about dirt lately.

What are you talking about? 

The dirt that’s outside.

You mean the dirt that you track in the house?

I don’t always do that….besides, you track in dirt, too.

I do not.  I don’t like to get my feet dirty so I’m very careful.  But why are you thinking about dirt?

Well, you know how Mom has been playing around in the dirt outside lately?  She keeps pulling things out of the dirt and then she gets some kind of tool and messes up the dirt.

Oh, I was trying to help her the other night.  She was digging a hole and then she went over and started digging out this thing she called a plant.  I was real fascinated to I tried to help her but she just laughed at me.  Then she took that green thing that she dug up and she put it in the other hole.

Why do humans dig holes in the dirt and put things in them?  I know why dogs do that.  I’ve watched Champ and Axel and if they have a bone or something that they want to hide, they dig a hole in the dirt and put it in and cover it up. I was thinking maybe Mom was trying to hide those things she calls plants.

Sometimes I dig in the dirt, but for an entirely different reason and I ALWAYS cover it up.

Don’t get gross.  I’m trying to have a serious conversation here.  I got on the computer today while you were sleeping and started reading about dirt and humans and why they like to play in it.

Did you learn anything?

Well, you know how the internet is, I got way too much information and not on the subject I was really thinking about.  However, I finally discovered something.

What?

Humans like to dig in the dirt and plant seeds and things.  You know all those pretty colors that are showing up in the yards now?

Yes.  Where did they come from?

Humans planted seeds and bulbs and now that it’s getting warm again, the plants are growing and there are flowers blooming.

Cool.  If I plant a light bulb will a lamp grow?

I don’t think so but then I don’t understand all the human things yet.  I’m still a young kitty.

I’m so glad we have these discussions so I can learn things.  I never thought a discussion about dirt would be this much fun.

The Mom Answers

To all of Hemingway and Shakespeare’s readers:

This is “The Mom” and I want to let you all know that Hemingway and Shakespeare got to play outside today even though the sun didn’t shine like it was supposed to. I still might take a nap, but the boys got to play so they’re happy.

By reading what they’ve been blogging about lately, you might get the idea they are neglected, underfed, bored and ignored.  Believe me, they are none of those things!  They are very typical two-year-old kitties who think the world was created for them.  Please don’t believe all their complaints.  They are both the lights of my life and anyone who is fortunate enough to have fur people in their lives, knows exactly what I mean.

Thanks to all the human and fur people readers who are following the antics of my boys.  It’s so wonderful to find other fur-people lovers all over the world.

Naps

We love our naps.

Yes, we have several specific spots throughout the house that are favorite napping spots for each of us.

Maybe we fur people should let the humans know why we nap.

Why do we want to let out our secrets?

Well, I wanted to play today and Mom wanted to nap so I got a little upset.  I think it’s because she doesn’t understand the nap routine,  so I want to let her and the other humans know what’s going on in our kitty heads..

Ok.  You like to talk so go ahead.  I’ll go see if there’s any food.

We know Mom has to go to work during the week so we use those days for catching up on our sleep by taking naps.  By the time Friday night arrives we’re all “powered-up” and ready to go.  Just ask Mom!

She says we’re always “powered-up”…..especially lately.

Anyway, by the time the weekend arrives, we know Mom doesn’t have to go to work so she should be ready to play with us all day long and most of that time should be spent outside.  It’s only fair.  She gets to go outside every day of the week.  Sure, she says she’s going to work, but do we really know that’s what she’s doing?

Well, if she wasn’t going to work, then she wouldn’t be able to afford to buy us cat food and treats.

Good point.  Still, when the weekend comes, she’s away from work so she should want to play with us.  What did she do today?   SHE TOOK A NAP!!!  It’s our day to play and she took a nap!!!!

Well, she said we couldn’t go outside ‘cuz it was cold and rainy.

She could have played inside with us……but she took a nap!!!  Don’t humans know that naps are for week days?  Weekends are for playing with us fur people…..preferably outside.

I bet they know now!

Antsy!

Why does Mom keep saying we have ants in our pants?

Haven’t we discussed this before?  It’s just another one of those silly sayings that humans have and it just isn’t logical for fur people.

I think I know why……we don’t wear pants!

And we’re not going to!  I wouldn’t put on pants ‘cuz they would hide the beautiful tuxedo I seem to be wearing already.

I wouldn’t wear pants ‘cuz they would hide my gorgeous tail!

And neither one of us would consider putting ants in our clothing if we were forced to wear clothing.

So why does Mom say that?

I think it’s because we’ve been running around the house like crazy lately.

You mean she doesn’t like our “stock cat races” that we conduct at night?

I don’t think so.  She keeps mumbling about straightening up the rugs all the time.

Well, they’re in the way of our fun!

We’ve also been making lots of noise.  I know I just feel like singing ‘cuz the weather is nice again, the sun is out, the birds are flying around and I’m just happy so I have to talk about it.

I guess I’ve been doing the same thing.  Why doesn’t Mom understand that we’re noisy and rambunctious (I saw that word on the internet and now I get to use it!) because we’re happy?

Maybe if she reads this blog she’ll understand and then she’ll start running around the house with us and making lots of noise.

I want to see that!!

White Stuff

Shakespeare, come look outside.

Why?  What am I supposed to be looking at?

What is that white stuff flying around?

Maybe it’s that fluffy stuff that comes off those plants with the pretty yellow flowers.

I don’t think so.

Remember how Mom talks about that big tree in the neighbor’s yard that drops white stuff? 

That tree doesn’t even have its leaves yet so I don’t think it’s from that.

Maybe someone left an opened bag of flour outside.  It’s really windy so it could be flour flying around.

I don’t think it’s any of that.  I’m afraid it might be…..I hate to say it…..but it might be snow!

No way!!!  Remember how hot it was Saturday?  We were all outside and Mom was raking and she was sweating.  When it snows it’s cold.  Besides, isn’t it spring now?

I don’t get it either, but that sure looks like snowflakes out there.

We better close the blinds and get away from the window.  It’s too scary out there.  I don’t understand what happened to the nice weather.  Who scared it away?

I don’t know but we better try to convince Uncle Bob to build a fire so we can stay warm and cozy.

Treats always make me feel warm and cozy.

Well of course they do…………..

What Happened?

I don’t think I like those weather humans on TV.

Why?

Well, we were having a perfectly wonderful spring with lots of sunshine and warm weather.  Then those weather humans started talking about rain and cold and even freezing!

Do you think they’re responsible for the changes?

They must be.  It was fine until they opened their mouths.  Maybe they shouldn’t say anything when they are on TV.

Better yet, maybe we should become weather furpeople.  Then we could talk about sunshine, warm temperatures and gentle rains only during the dark night hours.

Don’t forget to leave out that nasty wind.

That’s for sure.  Sometimes it’s hard to stay on the ground when the wind is blowing so hard.  Hey – I think I’ve discovered why you want to eat all the time.  You want to gain weight so you don’t fly away.

It works for you, doesn’t it?

Little brothers can be such pests!

At least it’s kind of nice out tonight.  I’m glad Mom let us go out and play for a little bit.

When she first got home she said we couldn’t go out because she had to leave but I guess she decided it was more important for us to get some fresh air first.

Moms sure are good things!

We Saw Him…..We Saw Him!!!!

I always like to wake up really early and I try to get Mom up but she usually ends up pushing me out of her room and shutting the door.

I’m the good kitty.  I don’t usually wake up Mom before that thing on her dresser starts making all that obnoxious noise.

Hush.  I’m trying to explain to the humans and other fur people what happened to us this morning.

Mom finally got up and she came out and gave us some food and then she was busy doing something in her room.  When she came out again, she was surprised to find both of us staring out the window.   She came over to see what we were looking at and she started laughing.

She told us it was the Easter Bunny!  We didn’t realize that’s who it was ‘cuz he was gray and brown instead of white.  He was just sitting there staring at us.

But he didn’t have a basket of eggs with him.

We were wondering what he was doing out this early.  Did he forget to look at the calendar?

Is he going to bring us a basket of eggs?  I don’t want eggs.  I want treats.  Doesn’t the Easter Bunny bring baskets of treats to the fur people?

I don’t know if he does, but he should!  This morning was really fun for us ‘cuz not every fur person gets to see the Easter Bunny bright and early!!  I sure hope he remembers to come back on the right day.

Trees in His Toes

Hey, all you readers out there.  I’m really getting concerned about Hemingway.

Shakespeare, are you messing with the computer again?

No.  I’m just looking for treats.  

Great, that fooled Hemingway so I can talk.  I think you might have heard that we’ve been going outside with Mom when she gets home from work.  She seems to be digging in dirt and stuff so it gives us time to explore.  Well, Hemingway picked up all these sticky things on his feet.  He and Mom worked at getting most of them off but every time he goes outside he picks up more.  Mom said those were seeds that trees drop.  I wasn’t sure what Mom meant so I decided to do a little research on the internet.  That’s a scary thing to do ‘cuz sometimes a fur person learns more than he wants to learn!

I found out that tree seeds are like little baby trees that grow when there’s dirt, water and sunshine.  Here’s the problem – Hemingway has those seeds on his feet.  What happens if he starts walking around in the dirt, then maybe steps in a puddle of water and then sits down and holds his feet up to the sunshine?  Will he start growing trees between his toes?  How will he walk?  Will I have to take care of him?  Can someone help me chop the trees down when they grow?  I’m so concerned.  Please let me know what I’m supposed to do.  I want to take care of my big brother and I don’t want Mom to worry about him.  I know I can count on the humans and fur people out there to advise me.

Now I think I really will go look for some treats.  Have a great day and don’t step on tree seeds.

Should I Fly???

I’ve decided that I need to learn how to fly.

Why?  Do you want to become a bird and eat bird seed?

Shakespeare, do you ever think of anything besides food?

Nope.  Why do you want to fly?

Well, I was outside with Mom tonight and I was busy exploring the whole back yard. 

I tried to follow you part of the time but I like staying on the deck.

Not me.  I want to know what’s happening everywhere.  Maybe it’s because I’m older.

Not that much older!

Anyway, I was walking all over the yard and I noticed that I seemed to be getting a little taller.

What on earth are you talking about?

Well, I finally sat down and looked at the bottoms of my feet and they were covered with all these sticky gooey things.  I kept shaking my feet and they wouldn’t come off.  I’ve never seen anything that sticky before.  If I could fly then my feet wouldn’t pick up all those sticky things.  I wonder if Mom had all that sticky stuff on the bottoms of her shoes.  Maybe I need to wear shoes when I go outside.

I didn’t seem to have that much trouble.

You didn’t explore like I did.

Are you sorry you explored?

No way.  It may be uncomfortable to have all those sticky things on my feet but at least I got to see lots of my world and that’s always fun.

So what are you going to do with your feet now?

I’m going to look on the internet and see if I can find some shoes to wear outside.

Will those sticky things be around forever?

Mom says they’re just here during the spring so hopefully it will be better in the summer.

I think Mom would rather you get some shoes.

Why?

Obviously shoes would be lots cheaper than flying lessons!

I’m going to go find Mom and see if she can help me get some of these sticky things off.  She probably won’t let me get in her bed with sticky feet.