What’s Wrong With Me?

Mom says I need to talk to my readers and see if they can figure out what’s wrong with me.  First of all, it’s not my fault!  It’s all Mom’s fault!!!  Now that we have that clear, let me explain.  When Mom is at the computer, I want her to pay attention to me so I have to be clever.  First I jump up on the computer desk and get right in front of the monitor so she can’t work.  She will usually tell me that she can’t see through me and sometimes she’ll even take the time to pet me.  That’s not good enough.  So, then I jump up on the entertainment center that’s behind the computer desk.  She can’t really see what I’m doing up there so she kind of tunes me out.  That makes me mad so I start pushing everything off on the floor.  If she doesn’t come right away, I just keep pushing stuff off until I get her attention.  Now, since she knows I’m going to do that, wouldn’t it be smart of her to just take everything off the top of the entertainment center so I don’t have anything to push?  Makes sense to me.  Evidently it doesn’t make sense to Mom ‘cuz she keeps putting the stuff up there.  She’s just asking for trouble.  All I want is some attention…..or maybe some catnip…..or maybe some treats…..or maybe a brushing.  So, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me.  I trust that you, my very dear, very wise, very handsome and beautiful readers will agree completely with me!  See Mom…..there’s nothing at all wrong with me.  Right, readers???

UPDATE:  Mom…..my readers say there’s nothing wrong with me.  I think you better move the stuff off the entertainment center or start paying more attention to me.  Oh, and don’t get mad at me ‘cuz it’s what my fabulous readers want!

INVASION!!!

The day started so peacefully.  Mom was doing laundry and she was hanging it outside so we knew she would let us out to play.

When she opened the door I ran as fast as I could before she changed her mind.

We played outside until it started getting windy and then we wanted to go inside and take our naps. After I woke up, I went to the door and saw this!

That’s our fur dog cousin Stella.  Mom says she is a Newfie….whatever that is.  All I know is that she’s lots bigger than the last time I saw her so I think I’ll stay inside.

But there were other fur dog cousins outside, too!  That’s why I stayed in my secret place in the house where nobody could find me.

Here are our other fur dog cousins who came to visit today.

The bigger one is Droopy and he’s a Lab.  The other one is Static and Mom told me he’s a Pugle.  I rolled on the floor laughing when she told me that!

Here’s another picture of Static.  Shakespeare and I think he should see a dentist.

Here are all three fur dog cousins being quiet for just a minute.  We were happy they came to visit, but they are even more active than we are……..and except for Stella, they’re older!

Mom………please don’t let them come inside.  They might find me.

Yes, Mom……..let us know when it’s safe.

TGIAF!

Hemingway, what are those letters up there?

That means “Thank Goodness It’s Almost Friday”.

Oh, I like that!!!  Friday means that the weekend is coming and Mom will be home and we can go out and play.

Humans seem to like to make words smaller by just using letters.  Maybe we could come up with some for the kitty world.

Great idea!  Let’s put our kitty brains together and see what we can come up with.

FUTS could mean Feed Us Treats Now

STINS could mean So Tired I Need Sleep

ORD could mean Open Refrigerator Door

COMM could mean Catnip On My Mind

RATH could mean Race Around The House

SABITY could mean Squirrels and Bunnies In The Yard

I think we’ve got a great start on our Kitty Dictionary of Key Phrases.  Maybe our Fur Friends will have even more.

I like the first one.  FUTS!!!!

Something New’s Been Added

Look what Mom got me….

That’s not for you.  That’s for humans to sit on.

I don’t think so.  It makes a perfect bed for me.  Besides, there’s another kitty on this bench and he looks like me.  Therefore, this bench is for me.

Personally, I prefer the floor and it’s even better if I’m right in the middle of things so Mom and others have to step over me.

Happy Veterans Day

We have never been in the Army, Navy, Coast Guard or Marines or any other form of service to our country.

Mom says we’re too young and she won’t let us leave the back yard.

However, we want to take some time to show our appreciation to all the veterans… past, current and future…for all the hard work and bravery they show while making our country as great as it is.

We don’t know what it’s like to leave a comfortable home and go to some strange country to fight.  We think all the people who do that deserve big medals.

We can’t begin to thank them enough for giving us the freedom to play in our back yards, to eat good food, to have a nice fire to nap by and to have family to love.

We want to pause now and show our respect.

Busted!

Hemingway, you blew it.

What do you mean?

Remember the other day when you were playing with that stuffed mouse?

Yes.  I love that thing.  I can carry it by the long tail and I can even toss it in the air.  I love to take it over by the basement steps……

….and that’s the problem!  You took it over there and then threw it downstairs.  Mom saw you do it and she told you that you better go down there and get it.

So?  I did what she told me to do.

Precisely!  You marched right down there, picked it up and brought it upstairs again.

I still don’t get what your problem is.

Now Mom knows that you understand what she’s saying to you.

I’m beginning to understand………

So, she knows when she tells you to stay off her desk, you understand her but you choose to jump up there anyway.

Oh nooooooooooooo…………I’m going to have to start playing really dumb now!

That’s why I don’t do what Mom says until she’s not looking.  She just figures that I don’t understand her.

Man, we have to be so sneaky around humans.  Thanks for letting me know.  I’ll be more careful from now on!

No, we aren’t doing anything bad, Mom.  We’re just playing with one of our toys!  Honest!  Quick, turn off the computer so she doesn’t read this!

Discussing Voting

The humans are voting today.

So?  What does that mean to us?  I don’t know what voting is.

Voting is when they choose leaders for the country, the state they live in and even the city they live in.

I wonder if anyone will vote for me.

You aren’t running for anything.

I’ll run for food!

No, I mean you have to get your name on this thing they call a ballot.  Then you have to put up signs and appear on TV and radio and talk about what you would do to make things better for everyone.

Well, if I was on that ballot thing, I would promise all the fur people that they would get new food bowls filled with their favorite things and another bowl filled with fresh water.

That’s a good start.

Then I would promise the kitty fur people that they would have nice big fluffy pillows in front of warm fireplaces so they can nap as much as they want.  They would also have an endless supply of catnip.

What about the fur doggies?

They would get bones to chew on, fenced yards so they could run around lots, shiny new collars and rides in cars and long walks with their humans.

What special things would you do for all the other fur critters?  Remember that we have some good friends who are piggies.

Oh yes, they can let me know what they want and I’ll see that they get it.  I know all of them will want new toys and lots of attention.

Where is all the money coming from to take care of all these things?

From the humans of course!  Silly Hemingway…..I don’t have any money!!

Telling Time

What are  you humans doing?

You have us really confused!

Mom’s noisy thing on her dresser went off this morning and we weren’t done sleeping yet.

We always have to wake her up in the morning ‘cuz it’s time for our breakfast but this morning she was awake before us.

We saw her changing all the clocks last night but we figured she was just trying to play a joke on us.

Why did you humans change the clocks?  Now it’s light when we get up and it’s dark when it’s time for supper.

Don’t you care that it’s confusing to our systems?  Mom tried to explain this daylight savings stuff to us but we got tired of listening. Did we miss out on an extra hour of play time or were we supposed to sleep an extra hour?

I think I have an idea.  When all the leaves fall off, the trees are embarrassed so they want darkness to come earlier at night when the humans are home from work so the humans don’t have to look at naked trees.

I get it.  Then when the leaves start coming out again in the spring the trees are so proud that they want extra daylight in the evenings when the humans are home to enjoy the pretty leaves.

Hey…………did we lose an hour of eating in there?????