Manicures and Pedicures

Hemingway, do you let Mom cut your nails?

Yes, why?

Doesn’t it hurt?

No.  Besides, it gives me some special time with Mom.

She told me my nails have to be cut and I don’t like that.  You know I don’t want anyone holding me or trying to make me stay still.

Well, if you don’t let Mom do it, then she will have to take you to the Doctor Lady’s House so someone else can cut them.

I don’t want to go there.  I like the Doctor Lady but I don’t like her house.  It’s scary and it has funny smells and strange noises.  Don’t these feet look pretty as they are?

You aren’t showing your nails in that picture!  Besides, my feet are prettier than yours are.  See……

You look like you’re wearing big white fluffy slippers.

Mom’s taking Ebony to the Doctor Lady’s House tonight so she can get her nails cut.  Maybe you should go along.

No way!!!!  I’m going to chew my nails!

I don’t think Mom wants you to do that.

Confused…..

Was there a big army of those “lightning bugs” circling the house and pounding on drums last night?

No.

Was it the Fourth of July again?

No…….and why are you asking such stupid questions?

I’m just trying to learn!  There was lots of loud noise and the sky kept lighting up with bright lights.  It woke me up!

Oh, that was what humans call a thunder-storm.  You’ve seen them before.  The loud noise is called thunder and it happens after there is a bright flash of light, which is called lightning.  Then most of the time there’s lots of rain, like last night.

I think I was confused ‘cuz I had been sleeping so hard.  I think I know how to tell when it’s not the Fourth of July and there’s loud noise and bright lights.

How?

It’s only on the Fourth of July that those bright lights are all different pretty colors.

Good thinking, but you have to remember that those pretty colored bright lights are made by firecrackers and sometimes humans light those off for other reasons.  Are you going to think it’s the Fourth of July every time someone sets one off.

Probably.  I’m a cat and I can think what I want!

Mom Tried to Fool Us

Why is Mom still here?

That’s what I wanted to know.  She got out that big bag and told us she was going to go stay with that dog but she’s still here.

Was she playing a trick on us to see how we would behave?

Could be.  I know that’s definitely a Mom thing.  She did finally explain to me that she didn’t need to go stay with the dog after all so she could stay home with us.

Good thing we weren’t too naughty this time.

I’m never naughty.  I was really concerned about Mom last night.

Excuse me!  I just had to roll over on the floor and laugh ‘cuz you said you’re never naughty!

Hush and let me tell you about last night.  Mom let Ebony outside and then she went out with her to make sure she didn’t start barking.

Nothing keeps Ebony from barking!

I know.  Anyway, I think Mom wanted to sit outside for a bit and relax in the dark.

That’s no fun.  You can’t see all the flying things and creeping things around you so you don’t have anything to chase.

Stop talking and listen.  Mom was out there for a little while and then I heard her saying, “Cool!”  She said it several times as she walked around on the deck.  At first I thought she was excited about finding some cool air, but then she kept saying it even when she came in the house.

What was going on?

I asked Mom about it and she said she saw some “lightning bugs” out in the back yard.

What are those?

I guess they’re just bugs that light up in the night-time.  It’s like they have their own headlights so they can see where they’re going.  Mom said she hasn’t seen any around the yard for years so she was super excited.

Do you think she’ll let us go outside tonight and watch for them?

You know Mom doesn’t let us out when it’s dark.

Ok.  Is it time for treats yet?

Packing

Oh no!!!!  Mom pulled out that big bag again.  Know what that means?

It means she’s going to leave us again.  When she puts her clothes and things in that big bag, then she disappears for a few days.

I looked at the calendar and she has a note on it about taking care of that dog named Roz again.  I don’t like it when she leaves us for a dog!

I don’t mind too much as long as Uncle Bob remembers to feed us.  However, I’m always glad to see Mom come home again.

Well, I did a couple of things tonight so she won’t forget me.

What?

When we were outside I caught a bird and I was carrying it around the yard so I could go show Champ and Mom made me drop it.  She took it away from me and told me she wasn’t happy.  I really don’t understand ‘cuz my birth Mom and Dad told me when I got big I was supposed to be a hunter.  I’m a little confused, but at least I know Mom won’t forget me now.

What else did you do?

She had a big cup of cold milk and I knocked it over.

That was you?  I just happened to come along and see milk all over the place so I started helping Mom clean it up.  I really like milk.

I don’t like milk so after I knocked the cup over, I got out of there.

You really are pushing your luck, but I don’t think you need to worry about Mom forgetting you!

Maybe I can squeeze into that big bag and go with Mom………..

Happy Fourth of July

This is Hemingway's "Red, White and Blue" pose.

We understand that humans like to get together on the Fourth of July and have picnics.  I had to look that up on the internet to find out what it is.  Basically it sounds like humans fix their food outside with all the bugs and flying things.

Why don’t they just eat inside and then go play outside?

I’m not sure.  Maybe it has something to do with the cold weather that hangs around here so much.

Well, Mom could fix us picnics all the time.  How hard is it to put our food in our dish and then take it outside for us?

Yes, she could do that but I don’t think she wants us outside that much.

That’s probably because you keep trying to sneak out the gate and Mom’s told you that it’s scary outside of our back yard.

Why do I get blamed for everything?  Oh, another thing humans like to do is make all sorts of pretty colors go up in the air.  I’ve seen them doing that the past few nights but I guess tonight is when there will be all sorts of pretty colors all over the sky.

Sometimes the noise bothers me, but I know Mom will keep me safe.

Let’s go see if Mom is up yet and if she’ll let us go outside and play before it gets too hot.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, EVERYONE!

Hot

Hemingway, I have two questions.

Only two?  What’s the problem?

Why is Mom not at work today and why is she sitting outside all wet?

Mom told Uncle Bob that she gets today off because of the Fourth of July.

She didn’t get time off because of the Fourth of June.  Will she get time off for the Fourth of August, too?

Shakespeare, sometimes it’s so hard to talk to you.  The Fourth of July is a special celebration for the United States.  Before you ask, we live in Minnesota and that’s part of the United States.  Anyway, the humans get time off from work to celebrate the freedom that our country has.

How come you know so much?

I surf the internet!

So why is Mom all wet?  Remember, that was my other question.

She told me this morning she was going for a walk and that I couldn’t go outside ‘cuz it was a billion degrees out there.

Why did she get to go out then?

Well, she doesn’t have a big fur coat on like we do.

But she’s all wet!

Shakespeare, I’m trying to explain.  When we fur people get hot we stick our tongues out and pant.

Oh yeah……..I’ve done that!

Anyway, humans don’t do that.  They sweat….or get all wet.  It’s good they don’t have fur coats on ‘cuz their fur would get all wet and dirty.  Mom took a long walk in the heat so now she’s sweating.

She can come inside where it’s cool.

I know.  That’s what I don’t understand.  I guess it’s a Mom thing.

Special Day

We couldn't go out and pick flowers because you wouldn't let us outside. So, we looked in your camera for a pretty picture of some flowers and we found this one!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!!

We found out that it’s your birthday today.  Since you did such a great job of celebrating our birthdays, we wanted to do something for you.  We’re not allowed to go out of the yard by ourselves so we couldn’t go shopping.  We also aren’t allowed to go shopping on the internet ‘cuz we don’t have any credit cards…..

Hey, if we could get a credit card then we could order catnip, toys, treats….all sorts of things!

Shakespeare…..it’s Mom’s birthday….not yours.

Sorry.  I was just daydreaming.

Anyway, Mom, we wanted to wish you a very happy birthday and the best we could do is to put a picture of flowers for you on this.  We really hope you like it.

If we could find some humans who would get you a cake for us, then we could all sit down and have cake together.  I don’t know what cake is but I’ve heard that humans like to eat cake on their birthdays and ALL food is good!

I knew you would somehow start thinking about food, Shakespeare!

How old is Mom?

I don’t know and I don’t think we’re supposed to ask.  I have a feeling that in cat years she’s older than the world!

Wow!!!  How can she keep moving if she’s that old?

Well, maybe she’s not quite that old but she is lots older than we are!

We love you, Mom…..………and we’ll try to be good today!

Being good.......