The Nerve of That Doctor!

Hemingway, I like having carburetors in my meals.

What on earth are you talking about, Steinbeck?

Well, remember when you had to go to the doctor’s house a little while ago?

Of course I remember.  I got a shot!

Yes, but you also got on that thing that tells the doctor how much we weigh.

I had no choice.  She made me do it.

Yes, but you’re way too chunky now and Mom said we can’t have that many carburetors in our meals now.  Besides, we don’t get our crunchy food now.  I like the canned food, but once the gravy is all licked off, I’m left with yuk!


I know what you mean.  I like the gravy but I have to be really hungry to eat the rest of that stuff.  I want our crunchy stuff back.  But Mom’s not making us cut back on carburetors.  We’re cutting back on carbs.

Well, if you didn’t weigh 23 1/2 pounds, we could have crunchy stuff with all those carb things!

Oh sure, blame it all on me.  Seems the doctor lady said you were a little too chunky for your own good, too.


Do you think the outdoor cat can order some food for us?

He looks like he’s on Mom’s side so he probably won’t do it.


Fine!  I’ll just chew on my carrot and pretend it’s crunchy good stuff with carbs.

Crime Scene

Mom…..did you buy this bag of food with the hole already in it?
So, this is self-service?
What makes you think I opened it?
This is a great way to buy our food, Mom!!!

From the Mom:  Sorry these photos are blurry.  Neither boy would ‘fess up to the crime.  I tried to see if they would look guilty when presented with the evidence and they didn’t!

Let’s Compare Food…….

We noticed a big difference in the meal Mom fixed for the humans and the one she fixed for us.

We’re not complaining ‘cuz we do like our food!

Shakespeare, you like anything that even looks like food!

Well, here’s  a picture of our dishes:

Cats SupperThe food looks good but it’s kind of boring when you look at what Mom fixed for the humans:

SupperLook at all the pretty colors!  She said most of the stuff we wouldn’t like but she didn’t even give us a chance to try it.

Mom, we think you need to dress things up a little for us.

We may be guys, but we like to have fancy things, too.

Maybe some electric candles by our food dishes.  (We don’t want the burny kind of candles ‘cuz our whiskers might get in the way.)

Maybe some nice music.

Maybe we can invite friends over.

Think about it, Mom.  In the meantime, please put more food in our dishes.

Mom’s Helpers

Sometimes Mom just gets too busy and we have to help her with things.

For instance, everyone knows how important food is to me.  If there’s even a chance Mom might run out of food for me I start to panic.

Tell the readers the truth.  You go absolutely insane!!  Readers….look what he did to this bag of food Mom got us.


I noticed that you were quite interested in the hole, too!

I did not do this

I made sure I told Mom that I didn’t do it.  She just laughed ‘cuz she said she knows which one of us is a food addict.

Look What I Did

I’m quite proud of what I managed to do!  I saved Mom all the time and trouble of opening the bag.  I even saved her the trouble of feeding me.  I’m so smart and so helpful!

Still Purring

We just wanted to let our readers know that we’re still purring, running and getting into things, but we’ve also been kind of busy trying to help Mom so that’s why we haven’t been on the puter for a while.

Mom told us she’s still having trouble getting her medication regulated now that she’s lost weight.  Good thing you’re not trying to lose weight, Hemingway!  See all the problems you would have?

Would not!  I don’t take any of that medicine stuff.  I only eat my food and my treats.

I'll Show You How

Here’s a picture of me showing Hemingway how to open our new bag of food.  That way Mom doesn’t have to worry about feeding us.  She can just sit and rest.  I think that’s very considerate of us.  Now you pull on that side, Hemingway!

Boys……..I will still feed you!  Don’t worry.  Just sit on my lap and purr and keep me company when I don’t seem to have any energy.  Tell your readers that the doctor and I are working on getting everything regulated.  The good news is that I’ve been able to go off another medication so that’s a great thing!  Now leave that bag of food alone.

Hot Tuna and Frozen Tundra

We were really excited to see Mom come home tonight.

We’re always excited to see Mom come home, but tonight was special.

First of all, we could tell she had been to the grocery store where they have all the food and that’s always a good thing.

Secondly we had been hearing on TV and the radio that it was going to be a bazillion degrees below zero tonight and we wanted her to get home safely before she froze into an ice block.

We were kind of silly when she came home ‘cuz we thought we should go outside but she told us to stay inside.   I sniffed that really cold air out there and decided she was right.

Sometimes humans know what they’re talking about.

Mom decided to give us a special treat from the things she brought home from the store with all the food.  She said she was going to make a tuna hot dish and she would take care of us.

All we heard was tuna!

We thought she was being silly ‘cuz we both know that anything she puts into that big box in the kitchen seems to get hot and we’re told not to touch it.  So why call it a hot dish?  We knew that!

Anyway, she surprised us by giving us some tuna water and some tuna when she was putting all the stuff together to put in that big box.

Then when we finished eating she took our pictures!

No, I'm not ashamed.....I'm just washing my face!
No, I’m not ashamed…..I’m just washing my face!
It's hard to tell, but I'm working on cleaning my face, too!
It’s hard to tell, but I’m working on cleaning my face, too!

Now we’re going to ask Uncle Bob if he will build us a big fire like this one:

Copy of P1020386

By the way, does anyone know what a bazillion is?  Is it more than all the toes on all of our feet?

Souper Bowl

I'm so happy Mom left these lights out for me!
I’m so happy Mom left these lights out for me!

I just love to spend time staring at these colored lights.  Mom sort of understands ‘cuz she likes the colored lights, too.  That’s why she left them up so she and I can enjoy them on the cold winter nights.  What is that racket?

It’s just me.  I’m looking for something and I need to find it right now!  Where’s the paper and pen?  I need to write down a few things.

What are you going to write?

I’m going to write a list of things for Mom to get for our Souper Bowl.

Oh for goodness sake.  It’s not Souper Bowl.  It’s Super Bowl and it’s a big football game that the humans get all excited about.

Sounds the same.

Remember how I’ve told you about the words humans have and how confusing they are?

Oh, I keep forgetting.  It’s so much easier to understand us kitties.  The problem is they usually don’t listen carefully.  Anyway………….I think my idea of a Souper Bowl is great.


Think of it.  Mom could fix a big batch of Souper for us.  It could have tuna and tuna water, catnip, some milk, a little cheese and then for crunch she can put in Greenies and treats.  Then the best part would be the Bowl.  I’ve heard that sometimes humans make bowls out of bread!  How delightful!  I would be in heaven if I had a bowl made out of bread.  Maybe if I do my cute pose, Mom will get me a bowl made out of bread for my food.

Mom, is this pose cute enough for you to get me a bread bowl???
Mom, is this pose cute enough for you to get me a bread bowl???

Only Shakespeare can turn a blog about football into one about food!  That’s my little brother!

Discussing Voting

The humans are voting today.

So?  What does that mean to us?  I don’t know what voting is.

Voting is when they choose leaders for the country, the state they live in and even the city they live in.

I wonder if anyone will vote for me.

You aren’t running for anything.

I’ll run for food!

No, I mean you have to get your name on this thing they call a ballot.  Then you have to put up signs and appear on TV and radio and talk about what you would do to make things better for everyone.

Well, if I was on that ballot thing, I would promise all the fur people that they would get new food bowls filled with their favorite things and another bowl filled with fresh water.

That’s a good start.

Then I would promise the kitty fur people that they would have nice big fluffy pillows in front of warm fireplaces so they can nap as much as they want.  They would also have an endless supply of catnip.

What about the fur doggies?

They would get bones to chew on, fenced yards so they could run around lots, shiny new collars and rides in cars and long walks with their humans.

What special things would you do for all the other fur critters?  Remember that we have some good friends who are piggies.

Oh yes, they can let me know what they want and I’ll see that they get it.  I know all of them will want new toys and lots of attention.

Where is all the money coming from to take care of all these things?

From the humans of course!  Silly Hemingway…..I don’t have any money!!

Living With Humans 101

We thought we would let our readers know what we’ve learned about living with humans.

This is going to be fun!


I love food and Mom knows it.  I figure the best thing to do is to race out into the kitchen whenever anyone is there because the humans are sure to think I’m cute and they’ll give me food.

I have another tactic.  I pretend to try to cover my food dish.  Mom thinks I don’t like my food so sometimes she’ll give me something else.  What she doesn’t know is that I’m just trying to hide it so Shakespeare doesn’t get it.


I try to get into my cutest position so Mom will forget all the times I woke her up at night.

By the way, this doesn’t always work so I have to figure out another method.

I have a sure-fire method.  I quietly go into Mom’s room when she’s sleeping and I gently get up onto the pillow by her head.  Then when she wakes up and feels my furry body there, I kiss (lick) her hand and she tells me how precious I am.

She does not!

Yes she does!  One thing you need to learn is that it’s not good to jump on Mom when she’s sleeping.  You’re a big kitty and sometimes you hurt her, but you always surprise her.

But she tells me I’m cute when I’m sleeping.  However, I may try your method ‘cuz it sounds pretty good.


I try to race outside as fast as I can when Mom opens the door.  Of course she’s caught onto that and now she looks to see where I am.

I have a better method.  When I want to go outside I start knocking things down.  I’ll look right at Mom and knock pens off the desk, papers off the shelves, anything that I can move is in danger.  Mom gets frustrated so she always lets me outside.

Mom’s going to be reading this and now she’s going to know what you’re doing.

Shoot.  I forgot that!  Well, we are very good when we’re outside.  Both of us keep coming back in the house to say hi to Mom and let her know we’re ok.  By doing that we are guaranteed of more outside time.


Whenever Mom gets us a new toy we play with it like crazy so she’ll think we really like it.

That way we’re sure to get more toys ‘cuz Mom figures she made us so happy.

Well, these are just a few of the things we’ve learned in our short lives so far.  We’ll probably learn even more as we get older.  Maybe some of you readers out there can teach us other things to help us live better with humans.

Maybe we can go on tour and give lectures and make money and buy treats.

How do you always do that?


Bring food into every single blog!!!!

Hey, this time it’s not my fault ‘cuz it was already one of the lessons.  I just brought it up now ‘cuz I was dreaming about those wonderful treats.

Friday the 13th

I have a question.

You usually do.

Quiet.  This is serious.  Besides, Mom told you to be nice.

What is it now?

Why are some humans and fur people afraid of Friday the 13th?

I’m not sure.  It has something to do with the number 13 and if it falls on a Friday it means bad luck.

That makes no sense!  Fridays are right before Saturdays and Saturdays are part of the weekend so all humans and fur people should be excited.

I agree with you.

So, let’s change how the humans think about Friday the 13th.


Let’s tell them to think of 13 things they really like to do, see, read or eat and they can do them all on Friday the 13th.

That’s a wonderful idea.

Let’s start on our list to give them an idea.  First of all there’s treats.

Yes, I knew that was going to be mentioned.  How about naps?

Rolling in the grass.

Having Mom brush us.

Unwrapping a new toy.

Listening to the birds sing.


Talking to an old friend.

Getting tummy rubs.

Chewing on fresh catnip.

Trying some new food.

Going for a ride.

Writing a blog.

We did it!  We came up with 13 things.  Now it’s time for our fur people and human readers to do the same.  We just have to make Friday the 13th fun for everyone!

About that first item on our list…………..where’s Mom?