Hemingway, what have you done now?
Mom says you are in the dog house. I didn’t even know we had a dog house. Why would we have a dog house when we don’t have a dog? Where is this dog house? Is there food in the dog house? How come a cat would be in a dog house?
Done asking questions now?
I guess so.
Well, Mom got a little upset with me this morning. You know how I tend to be not very graceful…
You’re just plain klutzy!!!
Enough! I feel bad enough as it is. I was trying to jump up on Mom’s shoulder this morning and I missed. I reached out to grab something and it happened to be her lower lip. She didn’t even yell at me ‘cuz she was so surprised.
Is that why she had all that red stuff falling?
Yes, that was blood and when I saw that I really felt bad. She couldn’t even go to church ‘cuz the blood wouldn’t stop.
So you gave Mom a fat lip????
God, if I exercise on this bike every day and promise to be a good kitty, do you think Mom will forgive me for accidentally hurting her? Could you also help Shakespeare to forget all about this? I don’t need him reminding me all the time. Sigh.
From the Mom:
Hemingway, you’re forgiven. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. I will always love you and your little brother! However, it’s fine with me if you never do it again.
Hello Outside Kitty! How’s your day going? I have to tell you that I’ve had a rough few days. Mom just doesn’t understand me. I have no patience. That much she SHOULD understand ‘cuz I happen to know that she has absolutely NO patience.
Let me try to explain. Mom’s been home for almost a week and a half now. She claims it’s because of something called jury duty but so far I haven’t seen her go anywhere. So, as long as she’s home, it’s like weekends. My little brother and I should be able to go outside all the time. Shakespeare is rather polite about asking to go outside, but I guess I’m not polite.
Oh, thank you for the drink of water. I was getting rather dry with all this explaining.
So I’m not very polite about letting my wants and desires be known. If Mom is busy on the computer or reading or something, I need to get her attention. The best way to do that, in my kitty brain, is to jump up on the computer desk or the entertainment center and start knocking things off so they tumble to the floor. Mom has even tried moving all the stuff off the tops of things, but I still manage to find something to knock off. I must confess that I kind of like watching things tumble through the air. It fascinates me to see how many things land on their feet like I do. By the way, the answer is very few!!! I also figure I’m doing Mom a favor by showing her where the dust is so she can take care of it. With everything off the surface, it’s very easy for her to dust.
Mom hasn’t been very happy with me. She’s talking about reform school or Kitty Kamp for Knocking Things Off. I don’t think either option sounds good. Can you please help me with my addiction? I want Mom to be happy with me, but I also want to play outside and I have to get her attention. If you come up with any good ideas, can you pass them along to me? I would greatly appreciate it.
MOM!!!! How long have you been standing there?????
I want it made perfectly clear. We’ve been having lots and lots and lots of rain lately.
I think the angels left the showers running.
Shakespeare, I’m talking.
Anyway, when it’s all wet and drippy outside, Mom won’t let us go out ‘cuz she says we’ll get all wet and muddy.
She knows you like to roll in the dirt.
I’m not listening to you.
Mom says you don’t listen to anyone.
What I started to say when I was so rudely interrupted many times by an orange fluff ball is that since we have to stay inside, I have ownership of the remote control.
No, it wasn’t me who messed up the rug.
I think the gremlins did it. Or maybe Shakespeare did it. All I know was that it wasn’t me.
I’m in heaven! Mom brought in some fresh catnip for us and tore it into pieces and put it on this rug. I LOVE this rug now!!!! But I’m sure it wasn’t me who messed it up.