A Tail of Two Kitties and Their Mom

Why did Mom put that title on there?  She’s going to be talking about you and your antics!  I’ve been very good lately.

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Hemingway, when you get to the end of this blog, you’ll find out why Mom gave it that title.  I’m not the only who sort of got in trouble.

It all started on a calm, Tuesday night.  Mom came home from the work place and started acting kind of funny.  She got out this carrier thing and then she put some toys in it.  I thought maybe she was taking Hemingway for a ride.  But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  She was after me!  I quickly looked at the calendar as I was running through the house and I saw my name on it.  Why hadn’t I looked at that before?  I played, “Catch me if you can” for a really long time.  Finally when Mom’s brother got home, he helped her capture me and put me in the traveling box.  I was not happy!

Mom says I’m supposed to apologize to all of you for the poor quality of the pictures in my slide show.  She didn’t have her usual camera and things were just not working right.  I don’t think she should have been taking pictures at all.  However, this slide show will give you an idea of the trauma I went through!

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It was so scary.  Even the doctor man said that I was super duper scared.  He gave me some “calm down” pills to take the next time I go.  Got news for him.  I’m not going again!!!

You won’t believe what I heard.  Mom and the doctor man were talking about giving me a mani and a pedi and something called a sanitary shave.  I thought maybe I was going to a spa and I would be in a real clean room without any Hemingway furs!  No way!  I won’t even tell you what they did when I was back there!

The doctor man said I actually was very good and wasn’t aggressive.  I may have scratched Mom once or twice but she’s used to that.  Now my nails are shorter so I can’t hurt her.

Oh, and the good news is that I lost a little weight.  I now weigh 11 pounds and am fit and healthy.  The doctor man even got out some mats that I wouldn’t let Mom touch.  She says I’m super handsome now.

Now…….about the Hemingway bad behavior.  The next night when Mom got home from the working place, she let us out.  Of course Hemingway goes in and out, in and out, in and out.  He’s always checking to see if he has new food in his dish.  I was having way too much fun watching the silly squirrels and chasing bugs.  (I’m knows for bringing bugs in the house to show Mom.)  Anyway, Mom got Hemingway in the house but I didn’t want to go in.  She tried everything and nothing worked.  I was afraid she was going to grab me and make me go see the doctor man again.

Hurry up and finish.

Well, Mom tried one more thing.  The red dot!!!  It worked and she got me in the house but then Hemingway decided to sneak out again.  She went out several times with the flashlight and he wouldn’t come in.  Mom kept telling him that he knows he can’t be outside when it’s dark.  He didn’t care.  Finally she got him to roll over on his back in the grass and with great difficulty she managed to get his huge body over her shoulder.

Huge?????

Mom was huffing and puffing so your body must be huge.                              

The next night neither one of us got to go outside.

From the Mom:

I’m sorry the boys have been so quiet for so long.  They keep telling me to help them with their blog and I keep telling them I’m just too tired.  A month ago I started a new job and it’s been very stressful trying to learn all the new stuff.  I expected to pick it up right away and do it perfectly but there was no way that was happening.  So, I beat up on myself and came very close to quitting.  I like the company and I love my view from my desk.  We’re up eight floors and we can see all around us since we have the entire eighth floor.  We’re right by the airport so I see planes taking off all the time.  The people there are really nice and I’m slowly getting to put the faces with the names.  So, I really haven’t felt like doing much of anything once I get home.  I’m hoping to keep the boys “in sight” more often as I let them talk about the goofy things they do.

Goofy?

Who said we do goofy things?

Well, I guess we all better sign off for now.  Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

Not ME!!!

not-me

Steinbeck, I told you to carefully listen.  We’ll have to make sure our stories are the same.

But is Mom going to be mad?

Not if we tell her this story.  Now listen.

I AM listening!

We’ll just tell her that we saw this beautiful flower and wanted to pick it for her and put it in a vase.

We have to put water in the vase first and I still don’t know how to make the water come out of the pipe thing.

Steinbeck, listen!  We’ll tell her we were going to pick the flower for her but we couldn’t get our paws around it right so it got a little scratched.

Okay….

From the Mom:  What are the boys plotting?  I hate it when they put their heads together ‘cuz I know full well they’ve done something wrong.  Here’s what I found:

hi-biscus

This is what I call my “HI Biscus” and I noticed this morning that it was blooming.  I was going to get a picture of it but I was already late.  So, I was determined to take a picture when I got home.  This is what I found.  Seems some kitties were using it as a scratching post!  Of course neither one will take the blame!

Interrupted Schedules

Have you heard Mom talking about us lately?

Yes.  She sure doesn’t seem real happy.

I’ve even read some of the stuff she’s written on OUR computer without our permission and I’m not happy with what I’ve been reading.

What’s wrong with her?

I think it’s because she doesn’t have a job right now and she’s getting in our way.  We need to sit down with her and have a good meowversation.  First we have to figure out our plan of attack.

I don’t want to attack Mom.

No, that’s not what I mean.  We have to figure out what we’re going to tell her.

I’m going to tell her that she shouldn’t get so mad at us.

Well, we have been kind of naughty lately.  I’ve been knocking all sorts of things off of bookcases, computer desks and tables.  Then you left the yard and went over to visit Champ without getting Mom’s permission.

I just wanted to see what the views were like in his yard.

The point is, we HAVE been naughty.  Why do you think we’re upsetting Mom?

I don’t know.

Remember when Mom was working and was away from the house all the time?

Oh, that was wonderful.  We had the house and the computer to ourselves.

Yes, and we could nap whenever we wanted to.

I remember naps.  I love them but I don’t get to take as many now.

That’s the problem.  Mom has interrupted our schedules and we get crabby so we do naughty things.

So………..it’s all Mom’s fault that we’re naughty.

I guess it is.  When you think about it, isn’t it always the human’s fault?  We have to tell Mom to get another job so she’s not interrupting our schedules.

We should tell  our readers to help us find a job for Mom.  Right now, let’s go take a nap while she’s at the grocery store.

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Now I Ask You……..

Is this the face of a trouble-maker????

Mr. InnocentSure is!!!

Shakespeare, I wasn’t asking you!

But our readers need to know that you’ve been very bad!

Bad is all in how you interpret it.  Let me explain….

This should be good.

Quiet.  You see, it’s Mom’s fault that she told me that she had some catnip growing by the house on the other side of the gate.  That’s just too tempting for me.  I am a smart kitty so I discovered a way I could get out of the gate and go help  myself to the catnip.  Sometimes Mom gets too busy and she forgets to bring us that fresh catnip.  Anyway, I was out strolling around the other night and Uncle Bob ratted on me.  He saw me over at Champ’s house and he told Mom.  I just wanted to go visit Champ and see if he wanted some catnip.

But Mom told you that you were supposed to stay in the back yard.

Yeah…yeah…..well, I had other plans!  Mom came outside and I heard her calling my name.  She came around the house and spotted me and I knew I was busted.  For some reason I decided to practice my hissing.  Mom was not amused.  She finally picked me up…

Believe me, readers…..that’s not easy for Mom to do ‘cuz Hemingway weighs four hundred gazillion pounds.

Quiet.  So, she picked me up and for some reason I just had to hiss, so I did.  Mom was surprised and told me to be quiet.  Suddenly the catnip took over my whole body and I turned around and bit Mom on the cheek.  I didn’t bite hard and it didn’t leave much of a mark, but she was very disappointed in me.

That wasn’t very nice.

I know!  I think I have a problem with catnip.  Mom says I get aggressive but I don’t know what that means.

You just get mean!

I’m trying to be a better kitty but it’s hard.  When I don’t get enough attention I get bored and then I start knocking everything down.  I’ve been doing a lot of that today and Mom is getting frustrated.  She says she’s going to send me to summer camp if I don’t calm down.

I’ll pack your bag!

I see troubleMan, it would be so quiet if Hemingway went to summer camp………..