Be Very Careful!!!

Warning!  If your human says you’re going on a field trip and it will be lots of fun, don’t believe it!  Humans are very sneaky.  Did you know that humans keep in touch with those fur doctor people?  My Mom is a traitor.  She told me about a month ago that I was just going to see the doctor man to make sure I was healthy.  What she didn’t tell me was that she made an appointment for another time.  This morning I got up all bright and cheery and woke Mom up earlier than usual.  She didn’t seem to really mind ‘cuz we had a bad storm go through last night and we lost power.  Well, in the storm I thought she lost her mind, too.  Normally she gets up and feeds us and then goes on her walk.  She went out on her walk without feeding us!!!

I was a very unhappy kitty.

Shakespeare, this is my story so just go back to sleep.  Anyway, next thing I knew she was carrying me out to the car and she said we were just going on a ride to check out all the damage from the storm.  She lied to me!!!  We ended up at the doctor man’s house!!!  Then she left me!!!!  Can you imagine?  No breakfast and I get dumped off at a strange place.

I don’t remember much of what happened ‘cuz Mom said the doctor man made me go to sleep so he could clean my teeth.  What business is it of his to be cleaning my teeth?  Just leave the toothbrush out with some catnip flavored toothpaste and I’ll do it myself.

It was a very long day but Mom finally came back to get me.  When the doctor man gave me to her, I buried my face in her arm ‘cuz I was so happy.  I was afraid she had forgotten me.

Now, get this……………….

Copy of P1020756Look what the doctor man did.  He gave me a PINK bandaid thing around my front leg.  I’m a boy kitty.  I should have had a blue bandaid thing.  However, I will admit it looks kind of pretty against the black.

Copy of P1020759I better not hear any of the neighbor dogs laughing at me ‘cuz I’m wearing pink!

Notes from the Mom:  Hemingway did fine during his procedure.  They were concerned that he might have a tumor but when they checked it they found it was nothing so I was very relieved.  I know Hemingway didn’t have the best day and it was super hard for me to leave him, but it’s good to know he’s healthy.  Meanwhile, Shakespeare had the house to himself today and he won’t tell me what he did.


Don't tell Mom I'm here.
Don’t tell Mom I’m here.

Shakespeare, why are you hiding?  I’m the one who had the awful weekend.

I know, but I’m afraid the same thing may happen to me.  Why don’t you tell everyone about your adventure.

It started off as such a good holiday weekend.  Mom was going to be home from work for four whole days and we knew that meant we would get lots of outside time and probably extra treats.  Everything was going great until Saturday morning.  Before I knew it, Mom had picked me up and carried me out struggling and meowing to the car.  She actually put me in the car and thought she was going to drive away with me.  I wanted to make a run for it, but she got the door closed.  I just sat on her lap and yelled at her.  She told me I was just going to the doctor’s house and that everything would be fine.  No way.  That was NOT what  I wanted to do.  She carried me into the doctor’s house and I let everyone know I was there.  However, Mom was really proud of me ‘cuz she sat me down on the chair next to her and I just stayed there and glared at the lady behind the desk.   Mom didn’t have me in a carrier and she didn’t have one of those leash things on me but I figured it would be best for me to stay put and glare.  So I did.

Before long I was in a smaller room and that’s when the humiliation began.  First off, they put me in the tray and WEIGHED me!!!!  Who on earth wants to be weighed???

Walk away from the scale now!  You are not going to see how much I weigh.
Walk away from the scale now! You are not going to see how much I weigh.
This is not my best side.
This is not my best side.

Before long the doctor man came into the room.  Now I will admit that I like him.  He’s known me since I was a little kitten.  He started looking me over and I won’t ever tell you how he took my temperature!  That’s just rude!

I was real good while the doctor man checked me.
I was real good while the doctor man checked me.

He told Mom that I had to do more exercises.  Can you believe it?  I don’t eat as much as Shakespeare but what I eat seems to stay with me.  Mom said she understood why she was getting bruises from me jumping on her in the middle of the night.  I’m a BIG kitty!  I found out I weigh a little over 21 pounds.  The doctor man didn’t have to tell Mom that!  Then he actually had the nerve to give me two shots.  However, he was amazed at how calm I was when he did that.  Little did he know that inside I was saying some naughty things.

What happens if Mom signs me up for Biggest Losers?
What happens if Mom signs me up for Biggest Losers?

Before long, the doctor man said I was doing good and I could go home and tell Shakespeare all about my adventure.  I can’t wait until he has to go see the doctor man!!

From the Mom:  Hemingway really is good when he goes to see the doctor man.  He does have to go in and have his teeth cleaned but I haven’t told him that.  He had been reading about his friends the Colehaus Cats and their adventures at the doctor’s house so he figured he could share his “tail of woe” as well.   I must admit I was rather proud of Hemingway.  He acted like such a gentleman.  He did do lots of “singing” in the car on the way over and the way home, but over there he was very meek and mild.  Now when Shakespeare goes to see the doctor man, it’s a different story.  He has to go in a carrier and he is not quiet at all.  The boys are very much individuals.

I’m a GOOD Kitty!

Shakespeare here and I’m going to tell all our readers about my trip tonight.  Mom tried to make it sound exciting, but you know where she took me?  She took me to see the doctor man!!!  When Mom got home from work I just wanted to go outside and play.  I figured it was going to be a normal night ‘cuz Mom let us out when she got home.  However, I should have known something was up ‘cuz she gave us treats early.  She tried putting me in the carrier and I told her in no uncertain terms that I was not getting into it.  I thought I’d won that battle but next thing I knew she had me wrapped in a towel and was carrying me out to the car.  I was NOT happy!

On the way over to the doctor man’s house, I voiced my thoughts loud and clear.  Mom was really surprised at how loud I could meow.  I showed her!  Mom kept petting me and told me everything was going to be fine.  I was the one who had to see the doctor man…..not her.  Mom had some music that she was playing in the car and she said it was kitty music.  I started listening to it and I could hear birds and other kitties and calming music.  I thought it was nice and I did relax.

Here’s the doctor man greeting me and trying to check to make sure I didn’t have any lumps.  Since Mom was right there I didn’t mind too much.

This was soooooo embarrassing!!!  The doctor man made me get on this thing that tells him how much I weigh.  Stupid Mom took a picture of me on that thing.  I didn’t think that was nice at all.  However, the doctor man told me I was a big kitty but I am not overweight.  I was happy ‘cuz he told Hemingway that he was chunky!

After that I tried hiding behind Mom’s purse so nobody could see me.  I had no idea what was next!

I didn’t know what the doctor man was looking for but I figured if I stayed real still he would quit looking.

Why did you bring me here, Mom?  I just wanted to play outside.  Did you notice I was the ONLY kitty in the waiting room?  Why did I have to be here with all those dogs?  To make matters worse, I had to go into a room where dogs get their exams and shots.  I wanted to be in one of the kitty rooms.

Please God, if I promise to be extra good will you tell Mom to bring Hemingway to see the doctor man in my place next time?

Don’t I look adorable?  I got a new carrier and I really like it.  Maybe going to see the doctor man wasn’t all that bad after all.  I know he told me I got a shot but I sure didn’t feel it.  He’s a good doctor!  I think I was a good kitty at the doctor’s house and Mom agrees.  Besides, some people there told me I was very handsome and I love hearing that!

So, that’s my excitement for the evening.  I think I’m going to go to bed early tonight…..if Hemingway will leave me alone!  If I learned anything from this, I learned that I shouldn’t be afraid of the doctor man.  He’s just making sure I’m healthy and I know if I’m healthy then Mom’s happy.  To my fur people readers, be sure to have your humans take you for regular visits to the doctor’s house so you don’t get sick.

Field Trip

Mom said we were going on a field trip tonight after work and I got really excited.  It promised to be even more exciting ‘cuz Shakespeare wasn’t included.  When it came time to get into the car, I must admit I got a little scared.  I kept talking and Mom kept petting me and telling me it was going to be fine.  She didn’t tell me where I was going but I sure found out!!!

Before long she pulled into a parking lot and turned the engine off.  Then she picked me up (not an easy task) and started to carry me into this building.  Wait a minute!!!!  I know that building!   That’s where the doctor man lives so this can’t be a good thing.  I tried to remain calm and hoped that if I shut my eyes nobody would see me.

This is my “I’m not happy” look.  Mom said she hasn’t seen this look before.  Well, she’s seen it now and she better pay attention!

I thought if I hid in the corner nobody would find me.

I got the scale figured out.  I discovered if I put one foot off the scale I wouldn’t weigh as much.  Stupid humans figured out what I was doing!

This is a picture of me and the doc.  He’s really a good guy in spite of the fact that he told me I had to start working out on a treadmill.  He did keep telling me that I was handsome and he thought I was really neat.  I guess I’ll have to listen to what he says and try to lose a little weight.  I’m just a little over 19 pounds but he says that is too much.  Mom said she would make me chase the laser light more often.

Here I am at the end of my visit.  I was wondering if those treats were for me but the people at the doctor’s office said those were treats for dogs.  Well, maybe they would let me bring some home for my friend Champ who lives next door.  He’s a dog.  They also said that I should be the clinic mascot  ‘cuz I was so calm.  I didn’t care if other fur people came in to see the docs.  I was all done and I knew I would be going home.  The only problem was that Mom and the other people were talking about me getting a job to pay for seeing the doctor man.  Well, if Mom didn’t take me to see him then she wouldn’t have to worry about paying him.  I guess it’s all her fault.

I’m going to take a nap now.  Maybe I should have Mom get the laser light out first so I can get some exercise.  No……I think I’ll take a nap first.